Authentic Happiness

I've been reading the book "Authentic Happiness" by Martin Seligman this week. Well, I actually started it last week but then the whole Breaking Dawn weekend marathon got in the way. So I started it again Monday, and I've really, really been enjoying it. It's all about why some people are happier than others, and how to become happier yourself.

One of the main concepts that stuck out to me is the differentiation between "pleasures" and "gratifications." Seligman calls pleasures things such as a bite of ice cream, a back rub, smelling a nice perfume..anything that is a sensory and emotional experience.

Gratifications, on the other hand, don't necessarily have an accompanying emotion. Think about things where you get "in the zone" and almost lose track of time - things that you get completely absorbed in. This might be rock climbing, scrapbooking, volunteering, gardening...when you really get into them, you're not thinking about how much you enjoy this activity, you're just thinking about the activity. Gratifications take more work and effort - but they end up making you a happier person in the end. The more time people spend in these kinds of activities, the better off they are.

The other thing that I have been interested in so far is the concept of "strengths." Seligman notes that we spend most of our effort trying to correct things that are wrong with us, but we would be much better off if we spent our efforts developing our strengths and figuring out ways to use them every day.

He has a website - http://www.authentichappiness.com/. If you go there, you can take a Strengths quiz for free. (You do have to register at the website, which means putting in your name and email address.) The quiz is sort of long, it took me about 25 minutes. But then it lists your strengths and in the book talks about ways to best utilize them!

So here are my top 5 strengths:

1. Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness: Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

2. Perspective (wisdom): Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

3. Social intelligence: You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

4. Gratitude: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

5. Love of learning: You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

What's neat is that I use four out of the five of these every day right now. Gratitude...well, I'll be honest, I was surprised to see that on there. But I am really thankful for everything I have... so I guess it's up to me to figure out how to incorporate that more in to my daily life.

Thanks everyone, for reading my blog!

What activities do you consider "gratifications?" Mine would be reading novels, scrapbooking, sometimes cooking, sometimes running, and sometimes therapy sessions with clients. (But sometimes those things are just chores, too - I think only the first two are always gratifications.)

What are your strengths? Go take the test! Or just read about the strengths and guess! I'm curious!

I just read "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. It's a novel and so good. I wanted to mention it because if you have the chance to read it, you should.

Dan just read "Jesus Wants to Save Christians" by Rob Bell. I think he has a few questions about Rob Bell's theology, but regardless, he really liked the book and felt it was very challenging.

If you have some time to do some reading but don't know what to get, check out one of these!

A Severe Mercy

I first read this book the summer after my freshman year of college. That summer, I was bored and looking for something interesting to read when I found a plain blue book with no dustjacket on a shelf in the closet. Opening it, I saw it said "Merry Christmas Kathy - 1978." I was intrigued enough to pick it up and read the first few pages. I'm so glad I did because I loved it, and it provided me with some interesting and thought-provoking reading material that summer! I just recently re-read it and was reminded of how much I love the story.

A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken, is a true autobiographical story. The story mainly focuses on Sheldon's relationship with his wife - how they met, how they dated, and then their marriage as well. There are two main aspects of this book that set it apart from all others. First of all (Spoiler alert), his wife becomes terminally ill and the way they deal with her illness is so inspiring but broke my heart at the same time. Secondly, Sheldon becomes good friends with C.S. Lewis and regularly corresponds with him. He includes all the letters in this book reproduced almost exactly as they were written. It's a very interesting view into C.S. Lewis's mind as well, and the short letters contain huge themes and truths in them. I'm not sure anyone else would be able to write so much so clearly in a letter!

This book is definitely not a quick read, but it's not at all boring or difficult. It's more just one of those books that you want to take your time with  and really savor every word as you go. There is also a good amount of poetry included, for those of you (Julie!) who really like that.

Let me know if you read it and what you think!

Books I Like

Wow, that's about the most boring title ever, isn't it? I need some help to figure out a better one - somebody creative, please come to my rescue!

I read a lot. I have, ever since I was little. I remember coming home from the library in elementary school with stacks of books in my arms. I'd immediately get to work reading them that night, and would usually finish an entire stack of 10-15 books before they were due two weeks later.

Of course, those consisted mainly of Babysitter's Club and Sweet Valley Twins books. My taste has matured somewhat since then, but there is still nothing better for me than putting on some sweats, heating up a mug of hot chocolate, and curling up with a good book.

I would like to spotlight some of the books I've read here on the blog. I'm thinking maybe once a week, or once every other week, since I'm no longer reading 10 books in one week like I did when I was little! We'll see what people's interest level is...so let me know!

The first book I want to spotlight is The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver.

I started this a couple months ago, and read the entire thing in a few days. It's a story about a family who goes to Congo as missionaries, and the resulting story of each of the parents and four daughters. Each family member takes turns telling the story through different chapters.

What I like about this book:

- A very interesting and engaging plot, with real characters

- Gave me a lot to think about in terms of my faith, what it looks like to others, and how to best reach others

- Taught me more about Congo and the people over there, as well as the political climate over there during the twentieth century

What I didn't like:

- It got a little confusing switching around between family member's perspectives, and it also takes jumps in time that can be a little disorienting for the reader.

That's it! I loved it! I would encourage everyone to check it out.